TOMORROW. ME. HOMETOWN. #yay - 8/6/26 - 11:21

current mood: exited and lowkey tired !!!
current tunes: Heart And Soul - Joy Division

IM VISITING MY HOMETOWN TOMORROW !!! To see my grandparents!!!!!! I'm super happy. Mostly cause I get to see my grandma on my dad's side, she's so awesome. I only get to see her and run around in her house like twice a year on our birthday weekend and christmas, so. Also, my parents are gonna let me thrift there for the first time!! I'm mostly gonna scope out for physical media, CDs, DVDs, comics even. If I find even ANYTHING good im gonna yap about it when I get home. Here's hoping I pull a bunch of Ween and TMBG.
I'm glad I don't live in my hometown anymore. It was dirty and dreery and you couldn't go a week without something weird or horrible happening. One time a random guy ran through our yard in the middle of the night and the police showed up and scared the shit out of the entire family. Our neighbor was a hoarder and would force my older brother to clean her garage while yelling at him. I couldn't even Trick-Or-Treat in my neighborhood, my dad had to take me to a family friend's neighborhood to do so. My mom had to teach me how to hide personal belongings in the car to deter any robbers from breaking in and stealing my shit. My second grade teacher once told me that i couldnt go to the bathroom even though we weren't even actively being taught anything and I cried and had to go to the nurse's office for a change of pants. And none of the pairs she had fit me. I remember doing a lockdown shooter drill in first grade and not knowing if it was real or not.
Even with all the bullshit I dealed with when I lived there, I miss it dearly. I miss being a short drive away from both sets of grandparents. I miss the first real friend I ever made because we bonded over a shared hyperfixation on Cuphead and Splatoon. We used to go on reacon on Kelp Dome in Splatoon 1 and just. pretend we were Octolings escaping the rule of Octavio like Marina and Eight. I miss running around the backyard with Sasha, our dog before Mary. I miss being a resident of Eviltown sometimes.

heartbreaking: this 97-year-old Commander Keen fan can see the wasted potential of the shitty canceled 2019 mobile game - 8/2/26 - 12:09

current mood: pretty energized for 12 o clock in the morning
current tunes: Black Cat 13 - Peach Kelli Pop

Recently I've been working on a video about the short-lived and kind of awful Commander Keen mobile game from 2019. I'm still in the gathering secure sources and scripting phase, and I'll be going back to school in a few weeks, so don't get your hopes up that it'll come out soon. But, because I'm spending so much time looking at the trailers, and promo photos, and various other things Bethesda put out to hype up the ill-fated release, I get the "privilage" of seeing Billy and Billie more than the average self-respecting Keen fan.
I don't know if its the fact that I've gotten over the drastic art, humor, gameplay, and overall tone shift, or the fact that I have a minor weird fascination with licensed mobile game slop like this [i was a PvZ Heros day 1-er fun fact,] but I have started to see little bits and pieces of heart shine through in the art! Mostly in Billy and Billie's designs. Yes, yes, insane thing to say about Keen Mobile, I know.
First off, both twins are very clearly pulling design inspiration from the ORIGINAL Billy Blaze/Commander Keen, obviously. I think if they didn't resemble Keen a little it would have bombed even worse. Their hair styles both sort-of resemble fire, playing into their shortened last name which is a small, probably coincidental detail I really liked. Both twins also use very simular color palettes, the only major differences being Billie's t-shirt/turtleneck/dress thing and her blue eyes being slightly darker than Billy's. The only colors "exculsive" to one or the other is the light green bandaid on Billy's knee and Billie's pink eyeshadow. Green and pink are opposing colors and so are often used in duo design to help compliment and reinforce the conection between the two characters, think Callie and Marie [and Pearl and Marina, to a lesser but still noticable degree,] Ignignokt and Err, Glinda and Elphaba if you want to be sort-of pop culture topical! It's a cute detail that I kinda wished they leaned more into, to try and differentuate the twins a little more.
Also relating to color, the amount of white and black used in the lower half of the twins designs parraells each other. Billy's shorts and shoes are entirely black, with the only pop of white belonging to his socks, meaning his lower half is heavy on black. Billie, on the other hand, has a predominantly white lower half with tall white boots with a sliver of black on her soles. She also has a Powerpuff Girls-like band around her waist, helping balence her design's black usage with her brother's white usuage.
So yeah. The Commander Keen mobile game was destined to be ass. We all knew this. But, someone on the team really wanted it to be a little LESS ass than we expected. And damn it, that team member succeded in that goal for me.

Still a shitty way for the series to go out though

motivation station - 7/19/26

current mood: i dont even know gng
current tunes: Daisylung - Cuddly One / Apistat Commander

I haven't been feeling to motivated to work on this site as of late. Which sucks bad because i have big plans for this place!! Offline, Ive been working on some zines and an id software ita bag, but thats pretty much it i fear. This summer has been filled with off-and-on creative projects that, when i start to neglect, fall through the cracks and I forget that I was doing such things.
I do want to share some of my future plans though, I feel like if I get the vauge idea out into the world, Ill actually do them. so! these are my plans!!

• fill out the projects tab on the site, with my art, music, and other things
• falling under the last point, atleast make a page deticated to my zines
• make some shrines for Homestar Runner, Lemon Demon, Cartoon Network, id, my first toy aka my most prized possesion Olivia the Blanket Rattle Monkey
• actually make a proper "about the webmaster" page
• make icons for the current mood section of the blog posts
• just spice up the blog section overall

Hopefully I live up to these. I am making a shrine to Olivia no matter what happens though. Thats my best friend right there and god damn it if i dont honor her then im a BAD FRIEND!!
also, i *might* [emphasis on MIGHT,] have OCD. i always knew something was wrong beyond the almost guaranteed autism but i never knew what. I'll look in to it and see if its possible for me ! i cant actually get professionally diaginosed though because my mom would freak the fuck out i fear. #bogus

kill John Microsoft.... kill John Paramount............! - 7/8/26

current mood: URGH!!!!!!!!!! with a side of oughh..
current tunes: Dry Food - Palehound

So Mircosoft just layed off 73% of id Software for literally no reason. And also apparently, Boom Studios just revived Invader Zim for a new comic run, WITHOUT any input from Jhonen Vasquez or anyone who worked on Zim in the first place, but instead from some Paramount licensing guy/guys. WHAT BOGUS BULLSHIT!
I'm so sick and tired seeing the things I like and love get their guts smeared all over the metopherical bathroom walls of the entertainment indistry by some rich hack. It's not fun for me, it's not fun for my friends and peers, god knows it's most definitely not fun for the people who poured their heart and soul into it, so why, oh WHY, does it happen so much?! Because corperations are manned by evil, greedy, bastards who hate fun, that's why!

In kinder news, tommorrow I get to explain the absolute disaster of Daikatana to my mom. Also soon, we are going to visit my hometown to see the grandparents! I'm glad about that. Maybe life isn't so bad all the time.

stop setting off fireworks well into the night, its scaring our pets - 7/3/26

current mood: urgh!!!!!
current tunes: Far Too Frail - Skinny Puppy

Every year,around this specific time in summer, my beautiful kitty daughter Misha follows me where ever I go. I'm spending more time in bed this summer, so she has set up shop on the foot of my bed. I put a makeshift cat bed on my bed for her, but she only really sleeps next to it now. Too hot for it I think.
Misha, being the most skiddish cat I have ever met, is HORRIFIED of fireworks. Misha, is also, bonded to me! When we first got her in 2023, I stayed by her side the entire time as she got used to the house and our other cat, Katniss [NOT named after the Hunger Games character!!!]. So me and my room make her feel safe whenever she is mildly scared.
I also have a dog, Mary. Her hearing isn't so good anymore, but when she could hear, July 4th was the worst day of the year. Whenever my dad and me when somewhere for the festivities, my mom had to stay home to calm down the dog.
If this is how scared house pets can get, imagine how AWFUL the forest animals have it this time of year!? And it goes on for at least a WEEK both BEFORE AND AFTER JULY 4TH!! I really want to go up to city council and give them a piece of my mind, but I feel like I, a 4 foot teenaged girl with baby bangs, round nerd glasses, spiderweb earings, and who almost exclusively wears stupid dark colored t-shirts over top long sleeve shirts, cargo pants, black pearlecent combat boots, and a beret on occasion, no matter how hot it gets, will get laughed out of the building.
I don't like the forth of July. I don't like being an American in this time period. And I hate patriotism. True and fact-checked by real American patriots.

teeth trouble - 7/1/26

current mood: achey
current tunes: Science Vs Romance - Rilo Kiley

Today, I went to the orthodontist first thing for a consoltation on my future braces. My mouth is super fucked up, so instead of going straight into the brace stage, I have to wear an expander to make my mouth less crowded. Before I can wear that though, I have to have spacers, tiny blue rings, inbetween some teeth for a week or so, so the expander can fit in.
You see, my teeth are crowded, because I couldnt get ONE [1] baby tooth out while a adult tooth grew in at the same time back when i was small. That adult tooth grew backwards, misalined with the rest of my top teeth. Unimportant, but I used to be in Taekwondo prior to 2020, and when it came time to make a sparring mouthgaurd for me, some kids bullied me for having the most stupid looking teeth imprint in my class. I also have what they called a "mild deep bite" which also doesnt help. Also also, my lower jaw is apparently starting to skew to the right? The cost for fixing my failure teeth is like 7 thousand dollars too, god damn.
At least I got a smoothie out of it. And I'll have more excuses to have mashed potatoes for dinner since I cant really have hard and crunchy foods with the spacers in. Oh well.
Artfight started today too, I don't know if I'll do much though. I haven't really been motivated to draw recently, and the only things I've been drawing are Commander Keen aliens. Ahh, I wish I wasn't so bored with everything!

that fuckin cgi dog that i love [and bill and ted too!] - 6/26/26

current mood: happy!!
current tunes: Child Star - The Unicorns

Apparently, Cartoon Network is making a five part docuseries about the history of the network!!! Which I am VERY excited about, because they got Andy Merril to do a spot in it!! Hopefully that means it'll cover how EVIL Mike Lazzo was. And also, there will be Robot Chicken specials on both the history of Adult Swim and CN!! Usually, I don't care for Robot Chicken, I never have [god knows that old Homestar Runner "skit" didn't make me change my tune,] but MOXY!!!! WILL MAKE AN APPEARANCE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It's been 8 years since Moxy was last mentioned on the network in any capasity, and 30. YEARS. Since Moxy last AIRED on the network. Also, Moxy is almost entirely lost media, so to see anything of him or Flea in the modern day is big news.
i know im delusional but hopefully with all this new Moxy stuff coming soon because of the Cartoon Network docuseries and Robot Chicken specials, CN will dig in its archives and post/publicly archive all the OLD Moxy sketches.. that CGI dog haunts both me and others and i need to see him get a win.
like i know they probably dont have good archives of the Moxy stuff but i like to think that they do. and they just don't know its currently lost media/or dont have the higherup's clearance to put it out there again for whatever reason. i just need to know Moxy is safe somewhere with someone. Curled up on a big dog bed made just for him.

ALSO, my Bill and Ted 1 and 2 watchparty with friends was most excellent! We had chips and Fruit Punch, and I even made some brownies for the occasion! Well, made brownies from a box mix, but I've never been too good at baking from scratch anyway. And! Unlike a lot of things I force my friends to watch with me, they didnt hate it! In fact, they LOVED IT! Said they were "glad that I kidnapped them so we could watch it together"! We even got to play through Castle Crashers again afterwards, which was a treat because the last time we had done such a thing was back when we were in SIXTH GRADE. Safe to say the party was a hit!!!!!!!!!

Grr!! - 6/21/26

current mood: annoyed and kinda forlorn
current tunes: Antidote - Pain

I’m trying to plan out a hangout/get together with some friends, so I can get them to watch the first two Bill and Ted movies with me. I’ve been planning this since April actually!! But NONE of our schedules fit together in a nice way. One of them is winding down from being on vacation for a week and also getting even more braces on the 23rd, and wants to do it before then because she doesn’t want to be miserable watching it. One of them can’t do it this weekend point blank because the family is over, even though they didn’t tell me this when I was gathering everyone’s schedules for the month. And the last one hasn’t even gotten back to me! Even I have a consultation on my future braces on the 30th, too. Sometimes I just wish my planning skills were actually good, and my friends could accurately give me their damn schedules!! I get things change but can you at least TELL ME they changed?? Telling me about a last minute change is better than never telling me at all!! Urk!!!!!!!!!
[hi guys. I know you will find this, i do not mean any ill will towards you. I love you gang 🙂‍↕️]

BOBBY PRINCE PASSED AWAY TOO - 6/19/26

current mood: really Sad
current tunes: Welcome to a Kick In Yore Pants In Good Ole Hillville! - Bobby Prince

Today is not going to plan already. If you don't know, Bobby Prince wrote a lot of the music in early id software games, namely Commander Keen, Wolfenstein 3D, and Doom.
Tom Hall's post from which I found out: bsky.app/profile/thattomhall.bsky.social/post/3momgnsrxyk2i
At least I know Tom Hall's on Bluesky now? It's still so saddening.

A Dream I Dont Care To Disect [or really think about] Right Now - 6/19/26

current mood: the halfway point between mildly freaked out and scream-crying
current tunes: Wave Of Mutilation - Pixies

Last night's dream was toeing the fine line between "weird and uncomfortable" and "straight up nightmare". It started relatively fine, I was playing with my dog Mary in my room. Usually, in real life, Mary doesnt go in my room unless she's extremly scared and/or clingly in that moment, but whatever, it's a dream, I can suspend my disbelief for something small like that. It was late at night, and I felt a presence outside. I turned my attention to my window and saw a person walking along the opposing sidewalk. Now, instead of feeling just their presences, I could read their thoughts aswell. They were almost exactly like me, and they were going to end it all via walking in front of a car [why someone would do this in a random suburban neighborhood and not the highway or something is beyond me, but I fear I would do the same.] I froze up, I didn't know what to do. Do I go outside and try and talk them off the cliff? They stopped walking directly in front of where I stood in my window, turned, and took a daring step into the street.

I don't remember what happened in between the previously stated and the collision. All I remember was what happened next. The person was a mangled heap of reds pinks and browns, their guts splurted out, and overall stickied to the road like bad gum. I heard the klaxon synth of the ambulance, at least I wasn't the only one to see this. Now I could read the minds of the nurses and parametics on the scene, and the only emotion I could parse from them was annoyance and disgust. "God, I hate my job," and "I hope this freak went to hell, making ME pry them off the road with an oversized paint scrapper," and "Ew, why did I sign up to clean entrails for the rest of my working life?" I wanted to go out there and rough them up so bad, but after seeing someone just like me kill themselves I just couldn't find the strength.

Maybe this is punishment for playing Doom and listening to Radiohead before bed.